Am I doing this wrong?? Raising a child who defies expectations.

A little about me. . .Parenting is not what I expected. As a professional with a

bachelor and master’s degree specializing in children and adolescent psychology,

and a long career centered around families, I felt fully prepared to have a child.

WHOAH was I in for a surprise! Though I lovingly applied attachment based

attuned parenting, I had a child who did not follow the books.

Parenting has stretched me, overwhelmed me, and battered me. As I recently

told my friend, I have felt like a salmon swimming upstream. Wholeheartedly set

on my target place (raising a healthy and happy child) and in the meantime

taking a lashing doing so! There have been shallow waters to swim, snarls of

grizzly bears to face, fishing nets to evade, and dams to pass.

To be clear, I am the fish. My kiddo is the bear.

I know how hard it can be. I have wondered am I doing this wrong and where do

I course correct. I have dug deep and though I am not at the end of this journey,

I have learned so much that has deepened and expanded how I am able to show

up for families.

I will tell you now that I don’t have all the answers. As a beloved, world-renown

psychotherapist has said, “I speak confidently but I am positive of nothing.” And,

a BIG AND, I do have the ability to:

• integrate 15 years working as a mental health therapist,

• leverage decades of information from books, trainings, and formal

education,

• and incorporate a lived experience as a parent and a stepparent so that I

can be a trusted guide.

So you don’t have to read all the books, listen to the podcasts, and try to TikTok

your way through parenting. This can be a guide for your current circumstances

and for the future. This work allows you to know that though there may be more

shallow waters to swim and snarls of grizzly bears to face but you can have the confidence, tools, and durability to know how to navigate troubled waters.

Kristen Poppert is parent coach and licensed child and family therapist in Bend, OR. She offers innovative, research based parent coaching that helps address child and teen emotional dysregulation (including anger, depression, and anxiety), reduce defiance, improve self confidence, strengthen family dynamics, and more. All coaching sessions are done online with clients based in the U.S.